Restore Me

Kenji spins around. Yanks the gun out of Warner’s hand. “What the hell is wrong with you, man? I thought we were cool.”
“We were,” Warner says icily. “Until you touched my hair.”

I hated him with a violent intensity I’ve never since experienced. But the fire of true hatred, I realize, cannot exist without the oxygen of affection. I would not hurt so much, or hate so much, if I did not care.

I’m guessing the insane asylum didn’t prep you for this gig.”

“Who says you can’t be cute and kick ass at the same time?” Kenji winks at me. “I do it every day.”

“But we were told that the new supreme was wild, lethal—terrifying—” I nod. Feel my face warm. “Yes. That’s me. I’m Juliette Ferrars.”

“People are idiots, love.

“But you must never, ever let the idiots into your head. They will only lead you astray.”

Now that they’re free to hate each other, they seem perfectly friendly. I don’t understand them at all.

Warner shrugs. “Haider is less competent. He’s self-righteous. Spoiled. Arrogant.”
“Wait—are we describing you or Haider?”

“Arrogance is false confidence,”

“Your Regent Warner speaks seven languages.”
“You speak seven languages?” Juliette says, touching my arm. “Sometimes,” I say quietly.

It’s only after she’s gone again that I finally spin around, hiss, “What the hell is wrong with you?” and Kenji grabs my arm, goes weak in the knees, and says, “Oh my God, J, I think I’m in love.”

“I mean, I know she’s probably a sociopath. And, like, would definitely murder me in my sleep. But damn she’s, wow,” he says. “She’s, like, batshit pretty. The kind of pretty that makes a man think getting murdered in his sleep might not be a bad way to go.”

“Like a Rolling Stone.”

“But—why would she break up with you? Why was she crying?” At this, I laugh again. “Because I,” I say, pointing at myself, “am a monster.” Kenji looks confused. “And how is that news to anyone?” I smile. He’s funny, I think. Funny guy.

“What the hell kind of soap opera did I just walk into here?”

I look up, suddenly. “Is there anything I can do?” I say. “To stop this from getting worse?”
“Oh, so now you’re taking relationship advice from me?”

And I’m here once more. In the abyss. Dissolving slowly in the acid of emotion.