Variation

“Some dreams don’t change.”

I wanted to know what kind of music she listened to, what books she liked, which movies were her favorite. I wanted to know if she minded the way she was kept sequestered, and what made her smile.

Was I really about to throw away ten years of self-control? Face down the biggest regret I had in my entire life?

“The curse of being in the right place at the right time is that sometimes there isn’t a right thing to do.”

“I know that. You know that. But it’s hard to overrule anxiety with logic.”

How the hell was I supposed to be that close to her without losing myself? Maybe I had to. Maybe that was my penance.

“She was never mine. I just rescued her.”

She was the exception to every rule I ever set for myself.

Forget climbing her walls, I’d tear them down brick by brick.

Oh, and she’s only indecisive because too many people tell her what they think she should want, and she likes to make everyone happy at her own expense.

“That boy is like the river. Pretty to look at, but we don’t swim there.”

I love ballet, but I never got to know who I am without it.”

“Where we’re pretending what?” I folded my arms and fought to control my racing heart. “That I don’t hate you? That this arrangement is real? What roles are we playing?” Any mask was better than none.

He was heat and warmth, and I’d been so damned cold for too long.

What do you want, Allie?” Why was that everyone’s question for me lately?

First means nothing. Last means everything.”

“Just go with it,” Anne lectured. “That’s our new motto.”

He laughed, and the sound did absolutely nothing to dispel the sweet, inconvenient pressure behind my ribs. In fact, it freaking fed it

“Because perfection is the goal?” Caroline asked, but there was no bite in her tone. “Always.” Allie’s smile slipped, but she quickly bolstered it. “And it’s unobtainable, so there’s never a shortage in motivation.”

“Truth always differs depending on who’s telling the story, and in complicated situations, there are countless variations.

“They were scared the first time too. You’re just getting a later start.”

Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen.

You don’t have to be in control at all times. It’s okay if you fall apart.

People who have suffered like us know that there’s no such thing as having everything, and when it comes to the unknown,

“When you don’t give your body time to heal, it will take the time from you.”

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”
“I don’t know how to do it any other way. But it’s a beautiful thought, balance.”

“You’re going to ruin me for anyone else, aren’t you?”

“It wasn’t you. It was all me. I’m a big girl who made choices and now has to deal with the repercussions of those choices.”

Now, where is Aquaman?”

I simply knew better than to open my door to the inevitable destruction our failure would cause.

“Dreams can change.”

You two are the shit poets write about.”

“I’m in love with him.” She scoffed. “Maybe you can’t comprehend the emotion, but it’s when you would give up everything for that person’s happiness. When their smile is essential to your heartbeat. When you know the gnarled, darkest, ugliest parts of each other, and you don’t turn away.”

“You love him,” Eva reminded me gently. “That doesn’t mean we’re right for each other.”

“You? Taking the time to overanalyze every possible outcome before picking the one that feels safest?” Eva snorted and made her way to the back passenger seat. “Imagine that.”

Go get your dream.

“Time was the enemy, Hudson. Not you.”

I’d worked so hard to get back here, and now all I wanted . . . was to go.

“Dreams aren’t stagnant, Allie. They grow. They shift.”

You’re my dream, and I put an entire continent between us in order to give you space and time.”